PROBLEMS OF FAMILY EDUCATION IN A MODERN FAMILY

The family is the most important institution for the socialization of younger generations. It represents the personal environment of life and development of children, adolescents, and young men, the quality of which is determined by a number of parameters of a particular family. Family education is more or less conscious efforts to raise a child, undertaken by older family members, which are aimed at ensuring that younger family members comply with the older ideas about what a child, teenager, or young man should be and become [10].

Education in a family: there is an individual orientation that is chosen by the members of this family. These may include the development of various skills and abilities, ranging from personal hygiene to the basic rules of society [15].

In addition to goals, the family also has its own individual types of upbringing, these include: authoritarian, permissive, democratic, chaotic, alienated and overprotective. All these types have both positive and negative sides, as a result of which problems may arise in the formation of the child’s personality [13].

Authoritarian type: implies a strict upbringing, in which all actions and actions are controlled and guided by parents. There are very few advantages in such upbringing, since basically the child’s thoughts, feelings, and desires are completely suppressed. In addition, this style is used everywhere, in kindergartens, schools and higher educational institutions [13].

The only style in which the parent “does not want or devote time to upbringing” is the permissive type of upbringing. Such upbringing does not promise a child; unlike an authoritarian one, it gives him freedom of action, permissiveness and lack of discipline. In fact, this is not freedom, but connivance; this leads to a blurring of behavioral and psychological boundaries. These boundaries serve as necessary rules for a comfortable life in society. And their absence in a child leads to: misunderstanding of oneself, impaired emotional intelligence and lack of productivity [9].

The democratic style makes a great contribution to family education. He is the most humane towards the child. In it, mutual understanding occurs between parents and child, in which they jointly make decisions. There are disadvantages to this type of education. Parents can develop democratic partnerships with their children to such an extent that children take all power in the family [8].

A chaotic parenting style does not have specific parameters and is formed on the basis of a mixture of different, sometimes diametrically opposed, methods. This happens, in particular, when modern parents are not ready for their responsibilities. This style of parenting threatens the child with the acquisition of psychological diseases, phobias and personality disorders [5].

The most dangerous for a child is an alienated parenting style, since it represents the parent’s complete indifference to the child’s personality; they are not interested in his spiritual inner world and its development. As a result of such upbringing, the child feels unnecessary and alienated from his parents; the fruits of this approach to upbringing are serious psychological problems [9].

Absolute guardianship manifests itself in a complete restriction of freedom; in this case, unlike the authoritarian style, the parent is not able to see the line between adequate and excessive care. This style of education deprives the child of important functions and develops in him egocentrism, infantility, arrogance, laziness and helplessness [11].

Pronounced problems in upbringing within the family were shown by the Educational Union, which conducted an all-Russian survey of parents and school teachers. The study was organized in all federal districts of the Russian Federation by order of the Institute for the Study of Childhood, Family and Education of the Russian Academy of Education [7].

During the survey, teachers and parents answered the question “What difficulties do you encounter in educational work?” 43% of teachers consider the values broadcast from TV screens and social networks to be the most serious obstacle, since they contradict the values founded in educational standards. But teachers called the lack of hours to educate schoolchildren the least obstacle. Interestingly, 36% of teachers with more than 25 years of experience consider the indifference of parents (legal representatives) to be the main difficulty. Young teachers also agree with them. As for parents, 39% of respondents are convinced that the main problem is the lack of time to raise a child [2].

Both fathers and mothers note three main problems of upbringing: lack of time, financial difficulties and insufficient availability of additional out-of-school education. The study showed that it is more difficult for fathers to find time to communicate with their child, while mothers note financial difficulties as one of the most important difficulties in parenting [16].

In no case should one focus on its shortcomings and failures: this will not give any positive effect; on the contrary, it is often precisely because of such an erroneous approach that problems arise in raising children in the family. The child must be accepted as he is, noticed and encouraged all the best that is inherent in his character [17]. Attempts to remake him or develop qualities in him that are contrary to his true nature are perceived by any child as evidence that his parents do not love him. Therefore, it is important to try to develop the child’s natural abilities, and not try to realize one’s own ambitions with his help [11].

When choosing a line of behavior towards a child, one should avoid both complete impunity and authoritarianism. The child must be perceived as an independent person. You can and should make reasonable demands on him and instill an understanding of personal responsibility, but in no case should you go to extremes. Only in this way will the development of the little person’s personality be harmonious. It is also important to remember that many problematic issues that arise in the process of raising a child are a reflection of the negative qualities of the parents themselves [4].

Children tend to unconsciously adopt the behavior of their parents, so often to determine the cause of misunderstanding and uncontrollable behavior of a child, it is enough to take a closer look at yourself. In addition, it is necessary to try to ensure that any activities aimed at the development of the child are built in a playful form [12].

Parental education cannot be based only on discipline; it is important to instill in the child a joyful and, to the right extent, easy attitude to life, and for this it is enough to teach him new things in conditions of mutual pleasure - through an exciting game [3].

One of the main problems of family education of children in the modern world is the reluctance of parents to take a proper interest in the life of the child. When a child is always under the supervision of specialists with pedagogical education, from an early age he is engaged in studying foreign languages, sports or dancing, this does not mean that his upbringing is fully provided if the parents do not devote enough time to him. You cannot completely rely on professionals in matters of education: their work does not have such a strong impact on the child’s personality as relationships with parents [14].

Another pressing problem of raising children in a family these days is such a common phenomenon as a difficult psychological climate. Moreover, it should be noted that this problem concerns not only dysfunctional families, where constant quarrels, scandals and assault have an extremely adverse effect on the child [12]. Many seemingly normal families use harsh physical and psychological methods in raising children, thereby creating a difficult atmosphere in which the child is exposed to constant stress.

An important feature of raising children in a family is that the child unconsciously copies the beliefs, values, and habits of the parents. Therefore, another common problem in family education is the immorality of parents. This is how a child develops a false picture of human relationships and immoral ideas about people’s behavior [6].

To summarize, we can highlight the main problems: most parents in a modern family devote little time to raising a child. Parents misinterpret parenting methods, which can cause the child to develop psychological problems. Parents should find methods of upbringing that are suitable for the child and understand the boundaries between love and strictness in upbringing; all this is necessary for the child to grow up independent, independent and a person who will be in harmony with his own inner world.